How to make friends at work

Making friends at work doesn’t come easily to everyone. If you’re more of an introvert or have just joined a new company, it can feel easier to just keep to yourself. 

But having good relationships at work can make a big difference. Having someone to chat to, ask for help, or grab lunch with from time to time can make work more enjoyable, and boost morale if you’re ever having a rough day. 

So, how do you make friends at work? Here’s a guide to building good workplace relationships while keeping things professional. We break down how to build connections in five steps, with suggested actions you can take for making friends in your workplace.  

Step 1: Understand your workplace culture

Workplace culture refers to the shared values, behaviours, power dynamics and expectations in your team and organisation. Every workplace has its own way of doing things. Knowing the culture helps you figure out how people interact, what’s encouraged and where personal boundaries lie.

Here are some tips to get a sense of your workplace’s culture.

• Watch how people interact. Pay attention to how people speak to each other during meetings, while working, and in break areas. Are they friendly and casual, or more formal and direct? Which of your teammates already have close relationships? Who is more extroverted? Who does everyone take their cues from? Before trying to make friends at work, be aware of any social hierarchies and unspoken alliances. 

• Ask questions during onboarding. During your first few days, ask your manager or team buddy how people usually socialise. Is there a regular lunch routine? Are people chatty during breaks? 

• Check your workplace policies. Some workplaces have strict rules about chatting or socialising while you’re on the clock – and about what is considered appropriate conduct. It’s good to know these upfront so you don’t misstep.

Step 2: Learn different social styles

People communicate and connect in different ways. Some are outgoing and expressive, while others are quieter and more task-focused. Understanding these differences helps you approach people in a way that works for them.

Tracom’s Social Styles model, developed by psychologists David Merrill and Roger Reid in the 1960s, is still used today by organisations around the world to boost communication and teamwork. They grouped people into four main ‘styles’ and provided guidance on how to best work with each of them. 

Here’s a summary of their ‘social styles’:

By recognising different social styles, you can mirror your colleague’s tone or energy level. For example, you can remind yourself to give space to people who prefer to work more independently. This helps you build rapport without pushing too hard or too fast.

Step 3: Have the right attitude

Even if you understand the workplace culture and your coworkers’ personalities, making friends ultimately depends on your social skills. People naturally respond to those who are warm, genuine and respectful. At the same time, you need to be mindful  not to overstep any boundaries.

Here are three ways to strengthen your workplace relationships.

1. Build trust

Trust builds when people know they can count on you. Offer help, follow through, be reliable and reciprocate by placing your trust in others. 

Example: On a job site, offer to help someone out who’s running behind. Lend a hand without making a big deal about it. It shows you're a dependable and team-oriented coworker.

2. Listen more than talk

Pay attention when others speak, take in what’s being said in group conversations, ask follow-up questions, and let people finish their thoughts before contributing.

Example: If a colleague vents about a tough shift, don’t jump in with your own story – just listen. A thoughtful response shows you’re present.

3. Set and respect boundaries

Workplace friendships should grow naturally over time – if you try to force them, you may feel let down if a friendship doesn’t immediately form  Try to be patient and at the same time, don’t compromise your own comfort trying to make it happen. For instance, if you’re not up for Friday drinks or don’t want to talk about something personal, you don’t have to.

Example: If a teammate asks you to cover her shifts every weekend for a month, it’s okay to say no. You can be friendly and still set limits.

Step 4: Break the ice 

You don’t need a reason to start a conversation other than just being generally amenable. A smile, short chat, or friendly gesture is often enough to lay the foundation for a work friendship. These moments build familiarity and make it easier for conversations to happen naturally later on.

Here are a few easy ways to break the ice:

Introduce yourself early

Say your name and ask for theirs when you first join your team or meet someone new. It makes a good first impression and makes future conversations flow more naturally.

• When to do this: on your first day, during breaks, or when someone else is new. Even at the start of a team meeting is appropriate if you don’t recognise someone or if you’re new yourself.
• Helpful tip: Include your job title in your introduction so people have context about who you are. 

Example: Hi, I’m Dani, the new safety officer. I’ll be making my way around the site today, so you’ll be seeing me quite a lot. Hopefully I’ll have time to chat with each of you a bit more today. Good to meet you all! 

Remember names

Using people’s names shows you’re paying attention and value the interaction. It helps people feel seen and respected.

• When to do this: whenever you meet someone new or run into someone again. Don’t hesitate to ask for their name if you’ve forgotten.

• Helpful tip: Repeat their name right after they say it. E.g.: “Nice to meet you, Priya” Or associate their name with something to help you remember it E.g.: “Ben works in the bakery section – B for bakery”).

Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions invite the other person to share something beyond a yes or no. It lays the groundwork for a real conversation. If the other person wants to chat, they’ll likely turn the question back to you, so make sure you have an answer ready too.

• When to do this: during breaks, downtime, walking to or from jobs, or while setting up for the day.

• Helpful tip: Try “How’s your morning going?” or “What kind of work do you usually get assigned?” These give people the chance to go into detail if they choose..

Find common ground

Mentioning something you both have in common helps move the conversation, and the friendship, forward. It builds trust and establishes topics you can both relate to and talk about.

• When to do this: during casual conversations, downtime, or when working alongside someone.

• Helpful tip: If someone brings up their weekend plans or a show they’re watching and it’s something you’re interested in, contribute to the conversation. Common interests are great for building rapport. “I heard you have a rescue cat? I have one too! Which rescue did you go to?” 

Step 5: Join in on social moments

Building friendships at work usually means taking part in events or social interactions outside of your job description. It’s the small day-to-day social moments that bring people closer and build rapport. These informal settings are low pressure and give you a chance to connect in a more natural way.

Here are some everyday social moments worth joining.

Visit the pantry or lunch area

Sit with others and ask if you can join lunch or the afternoon snack run. Most people are open to a bit of company. Meals are a natural time for conversation. You can chat about food, weekend plans, sports, or how the day’s going.

Take a coffee break with a teammate

Ask someone if they’d like to grab a coffee. It’s a relaxed way to chat outside your usual tasks and can help you both decompress. Ask them about hobbies, holidays, or if they’ve got any TV recommendations.

Use communal spaces

Coworking areas, lockers, or job prep rooms can also set the scene for casual chats. Ask what someone’s working on or how their day’s been. These interactions can lead to bigger conversations.

Join celebrations

Be present for teammates’ birthday celebrations, farewells, or other  milestones. You can’t decline invitations and expect to keep being invited to them, so it’s important to show interest in others if you want to build a work friendship. You don’t have to attend every event, but appearing to say congratulations or share a laugh helps build important connections. 

Participate in interest groups

Some workplaces have book clubs, hobby groups, or online chat channels. Join one that interests you as an easy way to meet people with shared hobbies.

When it’s not the right time to socialise

Being social at work can make a big difference, but timing is important. Knowing when to give people space helps you avoid being disruptive or creating conflict. Social awareness helps you act professionally, and gauge people’s openness to your attempts at making friends.  

Watch for signs that someone’s not open to chatting, like short replies, lack of eye contact, wearing headphones, or focusing intently on a task. Everyone has moments when they’d rather be left alone. 

Here are some tips to guide you.

• Choose a good time. If someone looks focused or busy, wait for a better moment.

• Respect personal space. Also give them the physical space to concentrate on their task. 

• Avoid oversharing. Don’t go into deep personal topics with coworkers unless you have already established a close friendship with them. Stick to light, friendly chats in the workplace.

• Skip gossip or venting. These might feel like bonding moments, but can easily create tension or misunderstandings.

• Don’t force a chat. If someone seems uninterested or gives short answers, they probably don’t feel like talking. Try again another time, and if they consistently shut down conversation, they likely aren’t interested in being friends.

What if you’re not getting along with someone?

Sometimes, no matter how friendly or professional you are, a colleague might not click with you. That’s okay – what matters is how you respond. Tension at work can cause you stress or make collaboration difficult. But there are things you can do to try and ease the tension..

Here are some action steps:

• Try to understand their communication or social style. They might be more direct, quiet, or formal. Adjust your approach to match their comfort zone. For example, keep conversations short and focused if they prefer to stick to tasks.

• Use “I” statements. If there’s something you want to address, speak from your perspective. Say, “I’ve noticed we seem to have some friction. I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” This opens dialogue without blame.

• Get support if needed. If the issue starts to affect your work, talk to your manager or HR for mediation. The aim is to create a workplace where everyone can work well together, not to assign blame.

It can be challenging making friends at work – but it can be worth making an effort. Having work friends can make your job more enjoyable and can mean you’ve got moral support if you ever need it. 

While you don’t need to make friends with people at work, having a few friendly connections can make a big difference. Remember that friendships often grow from small moments like break times, offering help, or bonding over a shared interest. Be approachable, be genuine, and give things time to grow naturally. 

FAQs

Why is it important to make friends at work?

Humans are social - we rely on networks for support, in our social lives and in the workplace. Work friendships make you feel like you belong. They can boost morale, help you solve problems faster, and make your workday more enjoyable. You’re also more likely to stay engaged when you feel like part of a team.

What if I’m introverted or shy, can I still build friendships at work?

Yesl; just start small by saying hello, joining shared spaces, or offering to help with a task. Over time, these small moments build trust and connection.

How do I avoid crossing professional boundaries when making friends?

Start with work-related topics and keep things light at first. Don’t feel pressured to share personal details too early. Respect privacy, and if someone pulls away, give them space. Friendships grow best when they’re not rushed.

What’s a good way to start a conversation with someone at work?

Comment on something around you, like the day’s weather, a shared task, or their lunch. Ask open-ended questions that invite conversation, like “What’s your day been like?” or “What kind of work do you usually do?”

What should I do if I don’t get along with a coworker?

Try to understand their communication or social style and avoid making assumptions. Stay polite, keep things professional, and avoid gossip. If the issue affects your work, it’s okay to raise it with your manager or HR to help resolve it.